


yours truly, john.

by orphan_account



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Emotional, Goodbyes, M/M, Sad, handwritten letters, where John is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 09:09:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15793431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: john sends paul a handwritten letter.





	yours truly, john.

_February 12th, 1971._

 

It was snowing heavily that day.

Paul got his way to his mailbox during the early morning, taking the huge bunch of letters in the overflowing box into his arms, quickly turning to his house and going inside again.

After getting his shoes off, Paul put the letters and mail on the kitchen table, knowing he can go through them in peace with Linda sleeping upstairs.

Deciding he wouldn’t risk making a cup of tea and waking Linda up, he put a glass of water beside the unorganized mail.

He got his jacket and knitted cap off, putting them on the heater by the rack of shoes and quietly sits on the chair.

He goes through the mail one by one, having a smile after reading each fan mail, and organizing the bills for later.

It’s only when Paul flips a lettermail to the front and reads the addressing that he slowly puts down the glass of water on the table.

_From: John Lennon_

_To: Paul Mccartney (only)_

It’s only the messy handwriting that draws his attention, knowing well of his former bandmates messy habits, including when he writes stuff by hand.

Paul slowly, carefully opens the letter, partially afraid and partially heartwarmed that John sent him a letter, knowing that Paul was the only one in the group being able to read it without problems.

_ADDRESSED ONLY TO PAUL MCCARTNEY_

Paul gave a small laugh. He knew John’s dislike to his wife.

After a while of staring at the folded piece of paper, Paul took a deep breath along with closing his eyes.

It’s been a while since he last spoke to John.

Carefully unfolding it, Paul had a small smile at John’s messy handwriting, obviously better than if he sent his first draft of it, which he has seen John do a couple of times.

_Dear Paul,_

Paul took another deep breath, breathing in the warm feeling of how John writes his name.

_Are you nervous, reading this?_

It was like John knew him inside out.

_I know you too well, and I also know that you’ll be reading this one day, alone. Probably by the kitchen table._

_It’s close to February as I’m writing this, and if you’re expecting an angry letter, then you’ve underestimated me, Paul._

_I wrote you a letter a month ago, but it was never posted. I’m sorry._

_No,_ Paul thought. _I’m sorry._

_It’s been two years since you got married off to Linda, I hope you’re happy._

“Stop making this fucking look like some goodbye letter,” Paul angrily muttered to himself, and to John, mentally.

_I’m still angry at that. Yet I’ve found someone for myself as well. Despite knowing what I feel deep inside._

Paul knows what John feels “deep inside” as well, and it hurts him to read it.

_The letter that was never posted was really embarassing, I would say. Thank god I never posted it._

_These days I still can hear your voice, your laugh, still see your eyes twinkling when you smile._

That sentence was messily scribbled out, making it hard for Paul to read the words.

He was quiet.

_I never thought I would write this letter._

Neither did Paul.

_I’m not blaming you for what happened, at the most, I’m blaming myself._

_Don’t,_ Paul wanted to say.

“It’s my fault,” Paul whispered.

_By the time you’ll get this letter, I am still thinking about you._

_Isn’t this cheesy? All my feelings poured into sentences._

_It’s hard to write this._

At this point Paul knew John was breaking down writing that, seeing the dry tear spilled spots beside his writing.

_Sorry, if it’s hard to read._

_Anyways, it’s late night here as well. I’ve just been playing, and Yoko is asleep._

_God, I miss you._

Paul feels a tear drip onto the paper.

_This is gonna be a short letter, I guess, since I’m gonna fucking break down or something right now._

_This is out of character for me, I don’t think I will have the will to write you another one, with words that are more making me look like a stronger person._

_I’m so tired._

Paul is too.

_I don’t know what to write anymore._

Paul doesn’t want the letter to end.

_Goodbye, Paul Mccartney._

_I love you._

Paul loves John too.

_Yours truly, John._


End file.
